A Pookie St. Patrck's Day
by Mikata
Summary: scary... the horror... the horror...


A Pookie St. Patrick's Day  
by Mikata  
Pairings: 5+K, 2x4, 1x3, ?xK, 9/R,   
warnings: OOC, stupidity, citrus  
  
Wufei sat in his room, nursing a split lip  
"Stupid Maxwell!" he muttered. "What is his problem?! He's been really bitchy for days!"  
Wufei looked over at his calendar dreamily. It had been over a month since he had finally gotten together with his Kleenex box. A short but blissful one, indeed. He turned to his desk where his love lay, sleeping peacefully in front of a small television. Smiling, he picked up his beloved box, and placed her on a pillow gently, so as to disturb her.  
  
*****  
  
Quatre's brows knitted together in confusion.  
"Duo?"  
"Yes, Quatre?" Duo asked, looking up from the copy of _Newsweek_ he was doodling in.  
"If Heero and Trowa are playing 'Heroes' in their bedroom, why do they both sound like bad guys?"  
"Umm…" Duo sat in his seat in a long uncomfortable silence before speaking.  
"Doesn't duke Dermail look lovely with half-glasses?" Duo asked, handing the picture to Quatre. Quatre paused and mused for moment.  
"Yes, Duo, he looks gorgeous… He'd look even better with a purple beard, though."  
"YES! I TOTALLY AGREE!" Duo cried. "LET'S GET THE CRAYONS!"  
Quatre smiled cheerfully, pulled out the crayons, and together they colored duke Dermail purple. And blue. And every other color imaginable.  
  
******  
  
Trowa smiled lazily at his sleeping lover.  
"I really love that nightcap…" He says to himself, admiring the cuteness of his boyfriend in his little moon and stars nightcap.  
As Trowa finished his soliloquy, Heero stirred, roused by Trowa's soft voice.  
"hmm… you sound so sexy in the morning…" Heero said, smiling faintly. "You should speak more often."  
"Heero… for one, it's two in the afternoon, and two," Trowa leaned down to place a tender kiss to his lips. "you're sweet when you wake up."  
"Hn." Was the intellectual reply from the sleepy boy.  
"Hn."  
"Hn."  
"Hn."  
"Hn."  
"Hn."  
"Hn."  
"Hn."  
"Hn."  
"Hn."  
"Hn."  
"oh, Heero…" Trowa leaned down for another passionate kiss, which the other boy returned with zeal.  
  
*****  
  
Duo looked sick.  
"I told you it was a bad idea, Duo…" an equally sick Quatre cried, burying his face in Duo's neck.  
" I know, I know, it was a _bad_ idea…"  
"You think?"  
"Yeah… it's time to get drunk. I'm going to celebrate my Irish heritage by getting drunk and vomiting green barf!"  
"Have fun." Said and obviously less-than-thrilled Quatre.  
"I will!" Duo ran off, leaving the picture of unspeakable horrors and terrors behind. The pages the magazine, but didn't close on the terror of chief engineer Tuberov with yellow and red polka-dotted panties drawn on crudely in crayon.  
  
*****  
  
"Noin?" Relena looked up from the window as Noin passed.  
"Yes, Relena?"  
"Is it a coincidence that the women's history month is the same month where everybody gets drunk and throws up green vomit?"  
"It's best not to think about it." Noin said, patting Relena on the back. "it'll hurt your brain too much. Just remember that men are stupid."  
"I know. Sechs especially. He's sort of… obvious when he spies on me to see if I'm all right."  
Meanwhile, a polyester bush falls over in shock, it's OZ regulation boots twitching. Pagan walked around the garden with gardening shears, trimming bushes when he came across the… Bush(1).  
"Funny, I didn't think there was a bush here… oh well." With that, Pagan started to trim, until he was faced with a small problem.  
"Pagan… that's my mask."  
Ok… maybe it was bigger problem than that.  
  
*****  
  
Duo smiled drunkenly at Wufei.  
"You wanna' drink." He stated.  
"No…"   
"Sure you do."  
"No…"  
"Yes, you do." He said in a deathly tone.  
"ok… maybe I do…"  
And the binge drinking began.  
  
*****  
  
Late in the night, the moon sank low… and something evil happened…  
  
*****  
  
Trowa stared at the horrible scene, mesmerized.  
"What's wrong? " Heero asked, coming in the room. He stopped short as he saw what Trowa saw. Wufei and Quatre lay on the floor, naked, semen covered, and in the center, lay Pookie in afterglow.  
"we can't let Duo see, it'd crush him." Heero said quietly.  
"Too late." Duo said bitterly before fleeing the room.  
  
*owari*  
  
(1) I don't know what's scarier, the polyester one, or the president!  



End file.
